Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Ok, this has bothered me for a VERY long time. Yes, I am a parent of a special needs Angel, and Yes, I am also a parent of a "typical developing" angel as well.

I have some friends that have a special needs daughter and every time we get together, it seems like we have a contest to see who has improved more. I can see them over there watching my little one and grading their own daughters disabilities based on the severity of my daughters condition. It really pisses me off! Get over it people, your daughter has special needs....quit living in denial. What ever her degree of disabilities are, they are real. Yes, she needs to wear orthopedics. Yes, she is in a special needs school. Yes, she may always need a little extra help..... SO WHAT....DEAL WITH IT. Your daughter is beautiful and she is an amazing little girl.

I have watched this happen many times with other special needs parents. We meet and start chatting about our kids. Watching each others kids, trying to spot what is wrong with them. We talk about medications and diagnosis....but really the whole while we are trying to figure out who is worse off. WHY DO WE DO IT???

Now for all of you with your "Normal" kids....Please stop walking on egg shells around me! I love the fact that you just had a beautiful baby. I love the fact that your kids walked at an early age. I love the fact that some of you have kids that borderline genius. I AM HAPPY FOR YOU. I mean it. You do not have to be afraid to hurt my feelings by sharing your perfect children. Yes, it may sting a little when I see your 3 year old run up and say "I Love You Mommy", but that is OK. I am still HAPPY for you. Please don't be afraid of me or my feelings. I want to hear your prideful stories. I want to feel joy for you.

For as much as I would love my daughter to say those three words, she just can't yet. I truly believe that she will, when she physically can. Even though she can't say the words...I get the message in other ways....it really takes a special someone (maybe just a truly devoted mom) to look into the eyes of their child and see the universe. I think sometimes looking into her eyes, I can see her tell me she loves me. It is magical. Sometimes she can look at me and make me melt. Maybe it took being a parent of a special needs child to slow me down enough to appreciate those silent messages.

So, all I am asking is let my little one be. Let her excel with what she can, let her show you how hard she is willing to work. Let her be the most perfect kid and quit grading her. Let your own child shine and grow. Be proud of your kids accomplishments and don't be afraid to share them with me, just because you THINK that you might hurt my feelings.

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