Wednesday, October 1, 2014

I'm Doing Something Right!

Being a parent is hard, being a special parent is so much harder than I ever imagined.  There isn't a "how to" handbook, trust me I went looking...and even to this day, I stop in every cute little book store hoping to hit the jackpot.

During a time in my life, when I question EVERY parenting decision that I make, very rarely do I get validation that I am doing something right.....BUT last night I had the most heart warming experience and a cue that I am on the right path as a parent.

Every night before bed, we go through our night time ritual.  Since my two little ones share a room, some times things can get crazy...last night was one of those nights.  I tucked everyone in, read our story (a really cool mystery) and attempted to leave the room.  Experience shows that I must re-enter and leave about 10 more times before my day is done.....I NEVER get to just walk out and call it good.   Last night my 3yr old wanted water, then the night light reset (because it is on a timer) and then.....well you get my point. Every time he "needs" something else before he settles down to go to sleep, he doesn't realize he is confusing Maddy.  My Madster is always on a ticking clock though.  It is in her best interest, to stay on schedule and minimize the stimulation, because every time she gets off track she has a harder time regaining focus.  Boundaries are very important for her.

Back to last night....

I finally did my 9th "you better got to sleep".  The first few were because my little one had his nightly requests, but the last 6 were because Maddy wouldn't stop blowing raspberries.  She was blowing raspberries on her legs, arms, hands...anything that would create the loudest raspberries possible.  Meanwhile, my little guy started out saying "be quiet Maddy" and by trip 9 he was screaming "BBBEEEEEEE QQUUUIIIIIEEEEETTTTTT  MAAAAADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYY!"  Not a pleasant way to try to end the day.  So, after taking a deep breath and counting to 10, I grabbed my book and book light and headed into the room for what may be a LONG visit. My job at this point is to calm down the toddler, so that the overstimulation and reinforcing that was happening to my Maddy could be diverted to something calmer. 

As I crawl into his bed (much to his approval) I give him a hug and tell him that his job is to be a good role model.  He has to try to remain calm and try to ignore the raspberries.  At this point the sound is so irritating that it has the same feeling as nails on the chalk has reached a "hysteria" kinda level.  I give him another hug and speak in soft whispers about how big he is and how he is a wonderful little brother.  After about 10 minutes the volume level has softened and Maddy is now trying to listen to our conversation.

At this point Franky said "I Love Maddy" but he was so caught up in the emotion that he was feeling that he was almost stuttering trying to find the words.  "I.....I......Love, I Love....M, I Love Maddy Mom".   He then said "I Love her, I miss her when she is at school".  I was rubbing his back as he tried his best to express how much love he has for his sister.

In a family where it would be easy to be lost in the shadows, or feel resentment.....My little guy expressed his most overwhelming love for his life.

THIS is what my Mothering has done.....I have nurtured love, even within frustration. 

I feel blessed.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Good Day and Optimism

Yesterday was an amazing day, especially after the week(end) that we had.  It was refreshing to have my kiddos wake up smiling and ready for the day.  Maddy even woke up ready to go...and not her typical "pull the covers back over her head scream session" that we typically get.  Most of the time when it starts out nice, it ends with a bang....isn't there an old saying "in like a lamb out like a lion"? our house it is more like, in like a lion out like a roaring

ALL of my kids were happy all day long.  The laughter and smiles were so welcome, that I sat basking in the happiness, trying to soak up every ounce because I never know when the tides will change.

We had a track meet yesterday.  Usually, when planning for a sports outing I have to cover EVERY possible base, just in case things turn bad and I need back up plan A, B or C.  Yesterday I planned for the worst and it worked out for the best :).  Those are rare moments around here.  Someone must have answered my prayers.

I am happy about things today, and these good times give me the energy to see past the recent gray skies, at the ray of sunshine poking its head out.

Being a parent of a special needs child can seem like a long and winding road.  Today though, I am only looking at my feet, taking one step at a time.  It is so much more manageable that way.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Monday Madness

It is Monday morning THANK GOODNESS!

I am coming off of a weekend of utter exhaustion.  Maddy literally did not want to do ANYTHING except play in our front yard on her bike.....that means EVERYTHING else was not wanted.  She didn't want to come inside to eat, go to the bathroom, wash her face, relax, go to bed....NOTHING else was acceptable.  When ever I tried to redirect her onto a task that was necessary she would scream and have a meltdown.  It was exhausting....because that meant either fight with her to do what I felt needed to get done, or give in for the sake of argument. 

She won.....I didn't have the strength to argue this weekend.

I even did my laundry in the garage.....I washed, folded and piled high the 25 loads of laundry (not really, but it felt like 25 loads :).  I am not at all embarrassed that I had to fold my underwear out in the open....

I am sure my neighbors love us.....between the screaming sessions and me flashing my skivvies....whats not to love?  I can honestly say that we add excitement and drama to our neighborhood.  All they need is a chair and some popcorn to be entertained.

The one time I had to bring my girl into the house so that I could go to the bathroom (because she must be supervised at all times...and what was I thinking stopping the playtime to go pee).....she had a huge meltdown in her room that consisted of making herself throw up, which she only does to prove to me that SHE is the boss.....(and my boss says no more potty breaks while on duty, should I report her to the labor board?) 

I know you are probably thinking that I should put my foot down and take control of my house, but the cold hard truth is that sometimes.....I must pick my battles and this weekend wasn't one of them. 

So, now it is Monday.  I will pick up the pieces and start the week with hope for a great week and gratitude that everyone woke up happy.