Wednesday, July 27, 2011

EDD.....4 weeks from now!!

It has been quite a journey!  I have experienced such extreme emotions that I am not sure I could even share if I tried.  There have been tests, more tests, doctors, experts and an array of "STUFF" for this pregnancy.  I am happy to report that EVERYTHING looks good so far!  All of our tests have come back fine, pregnancy has been normal and overall there isn't one thing that I can say appears to be abnormal. do I still have this little ball in the pit of my stomach that is SCARED to death about what still MAY be wrong?  It sounds so stupid.  I just want a 100% GUARANTEE that everything will be fine, and I know I can't get that. 

It seems that this pregnancy has gone faster, maybe that is because I know how much things are going to change when the baby comes......I am a little nervous about that.....How in the world am I going to be a good mom to my children with 1 more thing pulling me.  My oldest is brilliant and I don't want her to get lost in the shuffle, just because she is capable of doing things on her own.  My "soon to be middle" child is special needs and has been by my side for the last 7 years.   I KNOW her better than ANYONE.  I do not want her to get lost in my efforts to take care of the new baby.....BUT I also do not want her to take away from what I WANT to give to this baby as well.  I feel a bit like I am walking a tightrope sometimes.  How am I GOING to do all of this? 

I guess time will tell...

"You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt