This week has been rough! My girl started kindergarten and I am not sure I like her new class. Actually, I think I am being a little moody and irrational right now, but sometimes I am allowed to breakdown……I am ONLY HUMAN. Yesterday, was a terrible day. Thank goodness for DAD’s! I called my dad and unloaded all of my PITTY PARTY luggage onto him, thank goodness he doesn’t hold onto any of it. In fact, it was refreshing to have him laughing at some of the stuff I was telling him.
It made me feel a little better to know that HE wasn’t as upset as I was, (and God knows I was upset) about all of the crap that I was sharing with him.
Sometimes, as a special parent, it feels very lonely. I don’t really want to share what is going on inside of me, in fear that people won’t understand (which in all actuality THEY WON’T). I don’t like to overload my hubby either, which in turn means that I deal with “it” and keep moving on to the next obstacle. THIS MAKES FOR A PRETTY LONELY FEELING SOMETIMES. Every once in a while, I build up enough pressure to erupt Mt. Shasta and BOOOOOMMMM!!! I EXPLODE. Thank goodness my dad was home……he allowed me to explode on him, made me feel better and ultimately he got me laughing at the end of the conversation.
I wish things were different sometimes….is that wrong? I love my life and MY LITTLE LADY, but there are times that I ask myself WHY. AND, when I look into the deep dark tunnel of the future sometimes, I wonder how in the hell I am going to do this for the rest of my life. AND….when my life is over…..who is going to protect my little girl?
THAT THOUGHT ALONE is enough to make me cry.